Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
