can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
