Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
