no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
