is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
