as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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