i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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