I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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