hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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