Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
