wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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