Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
