We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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