My nipple is on Facebook.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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