Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
