Is it normal to miss your booty call?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
