I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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