I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
