whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
