is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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