dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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