Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
