is your mom at the bar?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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