Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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