Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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