I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i believe in u and ur pee
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
