I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
