I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
