Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
