ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
