I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Threesome in a minivan. New low
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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