Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
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I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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