i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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