My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
