i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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