He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
