i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
