So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
