i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
