well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
