I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
