I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
