your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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