The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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