The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
