I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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