in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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