Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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