Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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