i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
3pm strippers are depressing
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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