Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize