Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dear god my vagina.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize