I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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