You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize