my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My balls are so social today.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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