I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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