Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
