I'm going to jail i love you
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
