you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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