She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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