I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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