dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just googled if crying burns calories
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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