my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
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