Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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