just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
