my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
