I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
